


Gucci Adventure

by Theniaaa



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anna to the rescue, Attempt at Humor, Basically all the golden deer as well, F/M, Ferdinand von Aegir is Ferdinand von Aegir, Gen, Gucci?, Hear me out ok, How Do I Tag, I am not sorry, I couldn't help myself, Memes, References to old games, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done, Yes beta glenn is safe, anyone?, plus the sewer kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theniaaa/pseuds/Theniaaa
Summary: Hilda overhears Anna and Byleth discussing about some rare treasure located in the Sreng dessert. What could go wrong if she tagged along as well?And by that, I mean half of Garreg MachorHilda and co. are in search of some Gucci glasses in a dessert, also Hilda is crushing on Claude. Slight Dimileth cause i love them
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Hilda Valentine Goneril/Claude von Riegan, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier(mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. The Fated Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to repeat the summary (⇀ ↼‶)
> 
> I just really wanted to write a crack fic cause god knows I can't write normal stuff for shit. So have this instead

“ Good morning Anna, how are you doing today?” Hilda heard the professor speak to that red-haired merchant with the ponytail, Anna her name. Cute name

“ Oh, Professor I am at my best today! I heard about a new suuuper rare item. And you won’t even guess what it is!” Now Hilda was intrigued

Eavesdropping a bit wouldn’t hurt right? Hilda moved closer to “inspect” the goods of a nearby merchant’s

“ Now I’m intrigued. What is it Anna?” Hilda was hardly able to contain her from excitement. So many things it could be. Then again it could also be a stupid boring weapon again and so she’d simply be disappointed

“ Sunglasses”

...or not

Well now this got 10 times more interesting

“ S-sunglasses?” The professor tilt her head in confusion, eyes wide with disbelief. Heh, she looked cute like this. Ugh, Hilda now isn’t the time for this, focus on the information!

“ Yep! Real weird catch huh? Not a lot of people know about this so don't go around telling people okay?” Anna was barely audible as she starting whispering, still, Hilda was able to make out was she was saying “They are one of the few copies of an old designer. They are invaluable. And his name? Gucci”

Gucci...that name sounded familiar, tho she was sure she had never heard it before, oh well

“ I see...I’ll admit I haven’t heard of him before. Do you know where they are?” Byleth whispered as she leaned towards Anna

“ Well yes but…”

Uh-oh

“ But?”

“ Through my various...sources, I’m certain they are in Sreng...specifically the Sreng dessert” Anna averted her eyes downward

Holy that’s a long way from here

“ THE DESSERT??” Byleth practically screamed at her and everyone looked their way

Byleth gave a quick apology and went back to looking at Anna

“ Sorry. Anyway, how are we supposed to find sunglasses in the dessert??”

“ Aaaand that’s where you come in!” Anna proceeded to explain to the professor her plan, and something about thieves having a better chance at finding the shades…?

Welp that’s enough eavesdropping, for now, Hilda thought to herself and begun walking away

Her destination? Claude’s room of course

If someone was gonna help her acquire these sunglasses, it would be Claude 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday Aki!
> 
> I hope this wasn't too bad lol, I tried. Next chapter: Hilda and Claude scheming
> 
> Edit: Just realised that if I had written 3 more words the word count would be 6969...
> 
> ...Sometimes, I think I have the humor of a small child (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)


	2. Claude's tails and schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claude tells Hilda stories of old 
> 
> Hilda falls asleep 
> 
> Disclaimer: This chapter mentions a little bit of incest, I do not support that in any way, it was just a quick joke and jab at the fe community that I came up with

“ So let me get this straight...you want me to help you find some ultra super rare sunglasses? And in a desert no less?” Claude gave her the most dead flat look she thinks she’s ever received

She hugged the pillow closer as she pouted at him on the floor of his room

“ When you put it that way it sounds completely impossible!” She whined

“’  Cause it is Hild” he looked at the floor for a second

And then lifted his face to look at her

“ But you know me, that never stopped me” he winked at her

She got up from the bed and hugged him

“ Thank you so much Claude, you’re such a sweetie! Let me give you a kiss as thanks” He averted his eyes, if she looked hard enough she could see a small blush on his face

“ Thanks but no thanks Hilda, we need to figure out how we are gonna go about this, it’s not like it’s an easy feat”

Yeah Claude was right, there would be time to celebrate later

“ Well first things first we need to get Teach and Anna in all this” he told her as he got up and moved closer to his pile of books. He started looking around for a bit, Hilda, ever the patient and kind soul, waited for him

“ Eureka! Found it” He jumped up in excitement as he began moving closer to her holding a weird book

“ What was that word just said? Euri-key? Eirika? Oh hey that last one sounds like a name”

“ First its Eureka, and second Eirika is a name” He sighed “Have you not heard of the ancient princess Eirika before?”

A princess? Oh this could be interesting

“ I haven’t, is she popular?” Hilda tilted her head in confusion as she played with one of her pigtails

“ Oh she is quite alright, while she was married to a knight there were rumors saying she was in an affair with” a loud gulp is heard “her brother. Of course, there is no evidence and I don’t believe it happened but it’s still some juicy gossip. Tails and weird novels are still written about Ephraim and Eirika, twin siblings so close they got paired together” Claude sighed “Quite creepy if you ask me”

“ Woahza now I did _not_ expect to hear that at all, I suppose there are weird people out there”

“ You can say that again _ahem_ anyways” He opened his map on the floor and begun scanning it

Wait he still didn’t tell her what that weird word meant and she just had to know. Hilda Valentine Goneril refused to-

“ And before you ask, Eureka is an expression you say you are happy you found something. And old scientist said. And now that you don’t care about the rest of the story let’s move on”

Damn you Claude!

“ Okay what do you want me to do now” She asked as she took a better look at the map, so many word ughhh, maybe this was a bad idea

Still, she wanted those shades

“ For now just listen and don’t fall asleep” He said glancing at her

Hmph not even a proper look, smh Claude. She might not know what smh means but it sounded appropriate so yeah! Smh Claude!

Oh no Claude has already started talking….and she didn’t pay attention

I mean if you don’t focus on the start then what’s the point of focusing later right?

Right, you go Hilda!

And so Hilda did one of her most practiced and crucial technique, for those long boring Seteth lectures first thing in the morning

She fell asleep with her eyes open

Sorry, Claude!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, chapter 2 is over! I have all the chapters written down so expect fast updates (*＾▽＾)／
> 
> Next chapter: We get our first glance at the starter crew and Hilda into action


	3. Lunchtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starter crew! Assemble! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

It has been a few days since Hilda and Claude decided to look for the Gucci sunglasses, they had managed to get the Professor and Anna along , all they had to do was promise they would show up in class

Hilda thought it was totally unfair

And now it was a matter of getting the rest of the Golden Deer in. She sat on Claude’s over-sized bed again as he was sitting on the floor

“Leonie should be pretty easy right?” she asked as she played with her hair “We could just say that she would be paid or something like that right?”

Claude just stared at her “That’s not gonna work Hilds”

“It was worth a shot” she whined “Do _you_ have any ideas?” she stared back at him

He shrugged his shoulders “I was thinking of getting Lorenz in by telling him 'it is only fitting of a noble of your status to find such a rare item' ooor something along those lines”

Hilda grimaced “Ewww I don’t want Lorenz in, he’s such a party pooper”

“True”

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, each thinking their own ways of getting more people to join their little adventure

“Ughhhhhhh I give up!! Coming up with reasons for everyone is taking such a long time!” she threw the pillow at Claude in frustration “Why don’t we just ask the professor to make them come, she has already agreed”

Claude chuckled at her little outburst but then his eyes lit up as she took in what she said

“Hilda that is actually a great idea, why didn’t we think of it sooner?”

“Well well, go me!”

She got up from the bed and moved towards the door of his room, careful not to trip over any books “Come on we have work to do, you tell Anna and _I_ will handle the professor”

“Gotcha, good luck with Teach, meet me here in thirty minutes?”

“Yep”

And so Hilda went on her way to find Byleth

\-----------

It was obvious where she was gonna go first. The professor was a fishing maniac through and through, so much so that on the fishing tournament she used 100 bait to get the correct fish!

This woman was dedicated

And so when Hilda arrived on the fishing pond, which was really far away from the dorms by the way!, she was utterly one hundred percent disappointed

“Ugh I walked all this way and she’s not even here? Damn you Byleth” complaining wouldn’t do anything so she simply groaned and went to her next destination

Lucky for her it was fairly close

  
  


Other than a huge fishing addict she was, she was also a big foodie. So, naturally, the next destination would be the dining hall. And, naturally, as Hilda thought, she was there

She was eating along with no other than the prince of Faergus himself...and oddly enough Ferdinand of all people

She could practically hear him scream “I AM FERDINAND FOR AEGIR” from across the battlefield. He had joined them once for a practice battle and it was completely exhausting. Not only was she _forced_ to participate, but she also had that loud screaming eccentric theatrical buffoon next to her!

Ugh she was getting goosebumps just thinking about it

She asked for her favorite meal, two fish saute, and starting moving to the professor’s table

But she stopped mid-track, to just admire the view

Being around Claude so much she got good at realizing a fake smile from a real one, and this was the first time she has ever seen the prince smile like that. He was basically radiating as he looked at Byleth, and the most insane part? The professor was mimicking the same smile, as best as she could at least

This might have been one of the few times Hilda has _ever_ seen her smile. Poor Ferdinand was looking so awkward just eating his food

Oh wait this was Ferdinand, never mind he deserved it!

While she hated to break those two off she had to talk to Byleth, and so she just made a mental note to get the prince and her together more often. Claude might have had the reputation of a schemer but she was not too far behind

When it came to the matters of the heart she was number one

“Professor! I hope you don’t mind if I join in riiight?” she asked as she approached their table and winked

“Oh hello Hilda, of course” Byleth replied with a small smile and a nod

“I knew you’d let your favorite student sit with you!!” Hilda gave Byleth a big hug as she sat down next to her and she was basically grinning at how Dimitri was staring at her

Oh how good it was teasing him, he really did like her huh

Well anyways

“Greetings dearest Hilda! How are you doing this fine day? I am overjoyed you have joined us at our meal. I, Ferdinand von Aegir, enjoy your company to-” aaaaand that’s enough Ferdinand for one day

“Good day Ferdinand, Your Highness” she said as she smiled at them both. Ferdinand struggling not to show he was offended by how she cut him off by giving her a little smile

“Hello Hilda, it is good to see you today” At least the prince was decent company

“Hey heyy~” she waved at them both

She didn’t even begin eating as she turned to her professor

“Byleth!” she caught with the corner of her eyes how Dimitri stared at her for using the professor’s name “I have something really important to tell you”

“Is something wrong Hilda? What is it?"

“Weeell you know about our little trip? How about we get the entire Golden Deer in? Pleeeeeease professor” she did the best puppy eyes she could, which wasn’t that hard given her brother’s nature

“What trip?” Both Ferdinand and Dimitri asked in unison

Uh-oh, maaaaybe she shouldn’t have said that

Oh well

“Yes well you see the Professor and Anna-” she heard Byleth cough saying her name, no harm telling two more people right? “They were talking about a certain item”

“Hilda” Byleth said more sternly

“Oh it’s fine professor. Anyway apparently some rare treasure is located in the Sreng dessert and me and Claude decided to help Anna and Byleth find it” she winked as she saw how dumbfounded Dimitri and Ferdinand were

Byleth was just absolutely embarrassed

My how cute she looked

“So what do you say Professor, can you please tell everyone else to help as well?”

The professor sighed

“Alright, just _don't_ tell about this to anyone else” she said as she shoved her face with her food

“Professor if that would be alright…I’d like to join you as well. The Sreng region is very dangerous and I would like to assist you in any way that I can, I-If you would allow me of course” My my the prince was quite the charmer, no wonder the professor has taken a liking to him

“I don’t mind you joining me Dimitri but...is the house leader of the Blue Lions allowed to leave?” Byleth tilted her head with confusion, her big doll-like eyes filling with sadness as she looked at him

Aw she couldn’t see her this sad, especially when Dimitri’s own face turned into a frown as he realized her question

“Well I’m sure Lady Rhea will do an exemption this time!”

Both Dimitri’s and the Professor’s faces lit up

So hopelessly in love she thought

“I, FERDINAND VON AEGIR, will assist you as well Professor, I shall keep you safe from any harm that may come to you!” Dimitri started glaring again

How protective

Hilda finished her food as she begun talking

“Okay then it’s settled, glad to have you guys helping us find the sunglasses! You take it from here to explain them the situation!”

Byleth looked horrified as Hilda went up and left to go wait for Claude on his room

  
  


“...S-sunglasses?”

She sighed “I-it’s a long story Dimitri” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that was chapter 3! I apologize if it had too much Dimileth but I couldn't help myself
> 
> I just love those two so much (♡μ_μ)
> 
> Next chapter: Preparations for the trip along with a Byleth POV


	4. Recrutting the last members

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We got the sewer rats
> 
> Sorry for any typos it's a bit late for me to fix them now so if you are seeing this as I upload it I'm sorry! I will make sure to fix them tomorrow tho (*_ _)人

“Attention class” Byleth coughed as she clapped her hands “As most of you may know, we are leaving for the Sreng desert in three days. It will be a long journey so be sure to pack well”

She got up from her chair so that now she stood in front of her desk

“Oh before I forget, some other students will be joining us as well. Precisely Dimitri, Ferdinand, Sylvain, Linhardt and Ingrid”

She didn’t know how but, apparently, a few others had heard about their whole adventure

Damn that Hilda

Oh well it couldn’t be helped now, Byleth only hoped that it would all end well

“That is all for today. Class dismissed” She said as she left the classroom

Honestly she didn’t care too much about the shades, but seeing how Anna’s pupils turned from normal to the cash symbol, it was hard to deny her something

Then there was Hilda, of course. She had no idea why she was so invested in this, especially cause rarely nothing got her _this_ excited

Those sunglasses really must be something else. Claude of course made sense, if she knew one person that would join in a heartbeat it would be Claude

His curiosity always got the better of him

In all honesty, Linhardt was the most surprising, but I suppose it could have to do with crests for all she knew. She was just happy to have another mage on board, afterall their movement in the sand is quite significantly better

And despite not admitting it, she was really grateful that Dimitri was joining them as well

Despite being the golden deer’s teacher she felt a bond with the leader of the blue lions, she hoped they could spend more time together

She was pulled back from her thoughts as she realized she had reached her destination

Abyss

  
  


Hilda was talking with Dimitri, Claude and Ferdinand “ **the originals”** as she’d like to call them close to the sauna

They weren’t saying anything too different, just what they would pack and whatnot

Unless she saw it

A loud gasp was heard, followed by an even louder scream. Poor guys their ears must have died

But Hilda didn’t care

” **_PROFESSOOOOOR”_ **

Byleth, obviously startled, looked panicky towards her and she just saw Hilda running towards her

And honestly could the professor blame her? Once she saw was heading to the Abyss she just  **had** to tag along

“You are heading to the Abyss riiiiight?” she asked as he tugged her hand

“Um yes I am?” Poor professor looked so shocked. Oh well

“Please Byleth let me join in too!”

“Um I don’t think that’s a good idea Hilda”

Puppy eyes. On. Smile? On. Obnoxious begging voice? On.

“Pretty pleeeeease?”

Byleth looked away “Fine”

Checkmate. Heh she was just too good at this

The boys went from terrified, to panicked, to shocked, to disappointed, to the “are you serious” face all in the span of five seconds

Eventually they exchanged looks, sighed and nodded as they made their way to the two girls

“Teach, I don’t suppose that you mind if we tag along as well?” Claude asked as he moved closer to the two

“Um well I suppose since Hilda is already coming then...okay, you guys can come. But don’t cause trouble” Byleth sighed “And please don't shout” she looked at Hilda and Ferdinand a bit longer than the other two

Hilda was utterly offended

“Oh come on Byleth. Me? Shouting? I would never do such a thing! Look at me, I’m just a delicate little flower I couldn’t possibly be able to scream so loudly!”

Claude put his hand around her neck

“You aren’t fooling any of us with that Hilda...well maybe Ferdinand” he laughed

Hilda stood there for a few seconds wide eyed as she stared at him laughing, She decided she liked his genuine laugh, it suit him

God what was she thinking! She was making awkward

Before anyone could notice she chuckled “Well...you aren’t entirely wrong. But! I am a delicate flower! So Professor...could I uhh skip the next mission, you know I wouldn’t want to be a bu-”

“No.”

Well sheesh that was fast. How lame

“Anyway we shouldn’t linger much longer” they all nodded

She was right, afterall Hilda had promised to go for a walk later with Marianne

“Alright then let’s go”

She said and they all begun heading through the tunnel leading to Abyss. Hilda got chills, it was always so creepy in here

Like, unnecessary creepy, almost like they went out of their way to make it creepy

Instinctively she was moving closer to Claude

“Everything okay Hilda?” he whispered as he glanced at her

“Yeah just this place is a little too creepy for my tastes”

“Don’t worry, stay as close as you want”

Wow that was smooth, and _despite_ herself she was actually blushing

Her!! Blushing!! That was unthinkable, and yet Claude always made her feel so many new ways she never knew she could feel

Just another one of his charms she imagined

Meanwhile Dimitri and the Professor were _too_ close for comfort or for what would be considered proper. She couldn’t see well but she imagined the stupid smiles on their faces

And the there was Ferdinand just being in the front “leading” the group. Alone

Well this was Ferdinand, he deserved it!

The rest of the way till they found Abyss wasn’t as bad, in fact she was kind of excited seeing Claude be protective of her. Oh no she was blushing again. Get your act together Hilda!

After what seemed like forever of walking through narrow corridors and tunnels they finally reached Abyss

“Finally! Sweet sweet civilization, oh much I’ve missed you!” Hilda basically screamed as she let out a huge sigh

“What was that about not making a fuss?” Claude winked at her and Hilda simply groaned, looking away

“We better find Yuri” Dimitri said

Ah how reliable the prince was, always to the rescue

“I agree your Highness. Come we shall make haste for I, Ferdinand von Aegir, cannot-”

“Shut up” Hilda irritably said

“But I am Ferd-”

“Shut up seconded” Claude said with a similar tone to Hilda's

“Thanks Claude”

He only winked back at her

“Ahem” Byleth coughed “Follow me”

“Right away professor” Dimitri said with a serious tone and he walked beside her

Yep, she would surely hook those two up after she got the glasses

\-------------------------

“So...you want my help for finding some kind of ancient sunglasses in the...dessert?” Yuri said with wide eyes

“Look I know it sounds crazy but we really need to-” Byleth begun to explain before she was cut off

“Say no more, ill help you friend” he replied with a small smile on his face “This could be very entertaining afterall”

“ **OHOHOHO”**

Silence

“I shall assist you as well! Who knows if this ancient artifact could prove useful in restoring the glory of House Nuvelle. Rejoice professor for I, Constance von Nuvelle, shall provide my services. You ought to be grateful

Ugh….Hilda couldn’t deal with _two_ Ferdinands. One was already bad enough, well she supposed Constance was a bit more tolerable, still her voice and way of speaking could get irritating

“We appreciate the help, both of you, you have our thanks” Dimitri politely said with a little smile as he bowed

“Well since Coco and Yuribird and coming I suppose I might as well tag along too. You better make this fun Chatterbox” Hapi said as she emerged from the shadows

“Greetings Hapi, how do you fair this love-”

“Please shut up. Somehow you talk way more annoyingly than Coco”

“Hapi! How dare you I do not speak in any such manner, I am the embodiment of a fair lady”

“Ahahah you guys are great” Balthus said as he  **also** emerged from the shadows

Jesus these wolf kids were really weird, did they have a smoke bomb or something? Maybe they were all mortal savants.

Hilda mentally shrugged

“I was wondering when you would show up Baltie!” she said with a small shriek ‘You better tag along, what do you think would happen if something were to happen to me and you didn’t protect me?”

“Holst would kill me”

“I am glad you understand Baltie” Hilda replied with a small nod and a wry grin

“Welp, that was easy” Claude said as he clapped his hands “We thought you guys would give us waaaay more trouble”

“Thank you everyone, with your help I’m sure we can locate the sunglasses a lot faster now” Byleth said as she smiled a little

It was the smile she wore for the prince but it was still a nice one

Hilda didn’t miss the way Dimitri was staring at her

What she did miss however was how she was starting to stare at Claude more and more

“I assume we will get the details tomorrow?” Hapi asked as she sat up from the desk inside the Abyss classroom

“Yeah, it’s getting a little late right now and its a long story” Byleth replied

“Does that mean I can go back now? I don’t want to keep Marianne waiting for too long”

And she really didn’t, it had taken a lot of coaxing to get the quiet girl to join her, but Hilda’s charms worked on all. So she would not waste this chance for fun with some stupid explanations

“Hilda is right, we better head back now” Dimitri nodded, he paused for a little to sheepishly look at the professor “Afterall me and the professor wanted to get some training in before it became too late’

Ugh training, just the thought of that made Hilda utterly, 100% disgusted. All the sweat and effort and just-

No if she kept she would throw up

“Alright, I suppose that’s a wrap then. I’ll come by the classroom tomorrow for the details, friend” Yuri said as he smiled and winked at her

Dimitri, as usual, just stared. She was sure that he was barely holding in a growl

And the professor, oblivious as always, stared back with a small polite smile

“That sounds good Yuri” Byleth replied

“Then I, Ferdinand von Aegir, shall endeavor in seeing all of you tomorrow” he bowed and walked towards Constance to kiss her hand “I wish all of you the fairest of nights” he said as he departed

Everyone else bid their goodnights and left the ashen wolves alone

\--------------------

She has a lot of Marianne, and it was refreshing to see the girl being less timid and shy around her

She even saw her smile today and Hilda thought she might die from the cuteness and from how  **beautiful** she looked

...and yet despite all that, her mind kept racing bad to a certain golden deer leader

Oh Sothis, what had she gotten herself into

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not making ferdinand too annoying lmao
> 
> Next chapter: Our adventure begins and Hilda goes through a rollercoaster (´･ᴗ･ ` )


	5. Preparing for the trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are preparing to leave w(°ｏ°)w
> 
> We got some memes too

Hilda sighed as she made her way to the stables

She  _ knew _ they had to leave early but she didn’t think  _ this _ early. How was she gonna get her beauty sleep! Like honestly! Who woke up at 6 am?

Well she supposed it couldn’t be helped

That did not mean she liked it though

She sighed heavier as she placed her backpack down once she reached the stables

“What’s with the sigh? I thought you would excited” Claude asked her as he made his way towards her, his green eyes shining even tho the sun was barely visible

“I just didn’t want to wake up so early, why couldn’t we start later?”

“Cause we need to get here as soon as possible Hilda, the earlier we go the earlier we will be back here” Leonie said as she fixed her bows string

“Um leonie, pardon but, what is the bow for” Ignatz timidly asked from behind

Sheesh, was she really the last one? She would have thought that not everyone would be here yet

Oh wait Linhardt was in the team too

She was fiiiine

Sylvain yawned from the other end of the stables, he looked like he was about to complain but Ingrid just slapped him

Ouch. That must have hurt

She didn’t hear his whine, but she imagined it was a pretty loud one

“Good morning everyone” the professor greeted the golden deer

“Morning Teach, where have you been? I refuse to believe our teacher was late” he said dramatically. Hilda was curious too

Oh. What if she was sneaking away with the prince? How indecent professor!

“I was discussing our plan with Anna one more time, she should be here shortly as well”

Hmph, well that was lame. It had been a long time since a scandal happened. She was getting bored!

“Ah well that makes sense, good morning Byleth” Leonie greeted her as well, surprisingly….friendly. For how competitive she was, Hilda was taken aback but her switch in personality

Maybe she’s just tired

Hilda mentally shrugged

“Ah professor, everyone, good morning” the prince greeted everyone with Ingrid and Sylvain on his heels

Took him long enough to show up, Byleth has been here for a woping 2 minutes!

She expected better from the prince

“Good morning your highness. Slept well?” Claude asked as he turned around to face them

“Good morning Claude, I slept enough” Dimitri politely replied

“Aw no fair, me and Ingrid get no greeting?”

“Hey Ingrid!” Hilda screamed as she moved closer to hug her

“Hey I’m here too you kn-’

“Good morning Hilda, it's nice to see you up and early today” Ugh she just  **had** to say that! Oh well, this  **was** Ingrid

“Oh forget it” Sylvain mumbled

“Yeah I’d still rather be in my bed right now but what can you do”

“I agree with her” suddenly Linhardt chipped in as he and Ferdinand came into view

“Good morning everyone, I, FERDINAND VON AEGIR, am here” Ferdinand dramatically bowed as he smiled. Hilda wondered if his face didn’t hurt

Linhardt just yawned, she felt the weird desire to join him

“Good morning you two, glad to see you guys made it” the professor smiled slightly

“You should thank me Professor!” ughhh here we go again “If it weren’t for me Linhardt would still be asleep!” Hilda groaned, it was far too early for her poor ears to be abused like this

Not to mention her brain

“Can you not be so loud Ferdinand, I just woke up” Looked like Linhardt had the same thought as her

“Well either way, looks like everyone is here” Lysithea said in a matter-of-factly tone

Wait.

‘Everyone is here’ why did that sound so familiar? And why did she have the urge to look under boxes now?

Oh god she really was tired

“I cannot believe you!!!” a loud scream cut Hilda’s thoughts

Oh no…

“Do not tell me you forgot about us! I, Constance von Nuvelle, am utterly offended!” she screeched

Yep. It was as she feared

“Can we leave” she whispered at Claude “I can’t handle this”

“I know how you feel Hilda” he gave her a sympathetic nod and they both sighed

“Good morning Chatterbox” Hapi said in her monotonic voice as she yawned

Baltie and Yuri showed themselves too right behind the ladies

“Sorry we are late everyone, got a little caught up with some things in Abyss” Yuri winked at the professor

Whatever those things were, Hilda did not care nor want to know

She could practically hear the prince groan as he moved towards the professor

She exchanged looks with Sylvain and they both rolled their eyes

So obvious

“Alright now that actually  **everyone** is here, I’m going to speak with Anna” Byleth said as she made her way towards the marketplace “Once I’m back we are leaving so settle your things and pick your mounts if you haven’t already”

Right, Hilda forgot they had to  _ fly _ to Sreng

She sighed and made her way to her pegasus as everyone else followed

This was gonna be a long journey

All she could do was sigh, again 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer and closer to the desert 
> 
> Next chapter: journey time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firt of all! I'm really glad to all the kudos I've gotten and hey if you are reading this, i appreciate you and thank you for being here ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅
> 
> Now moving on...I am not good at writing summaries o(╥﹏╥)o 
> 
> The team is on it's way to Sreng! This might not be the most amazing chapter but i think it was one i just had to do ( -。-)

It was a long and exhausting journey to Sreng

At least in the day Constance was pretty calm, however that didn’t stop Ferdinand

She spent most of her time chatting with Ingrid, Marianne, Claude and the Professor

Well whenever the professor wasn’t speaking with Dimitri, Sylvain or Yuri

It was pretty clear the other two just did it to make the prince jealous. And she did approve, watching them was quite entertaining

The trip went better than she could have ever anticipated. Talking with Claude was fairly nice, and she found herself enjoying it more than the opposite

Still, dealing with Ferdinand was quite the pain, but thankfully he mostly talked with Lorenz

_ Far, far _ away from them. She made sure of that

Anna said they would be reaching Sreng tomorrow if all went well. Surprisingly enough this trip had gone rather smoothly

She was sitting in her shared camp with Ingrid and Marianne. Ingrid was fast asleep and Marianne was reading a book so that left Hilda was utterly and completely bored

Should she go out? But what if she run into Constance, her normal self now, Ferdinand and Lorenz talking??

Ugh the very thought gave her goosebumps

Oddly enough, her mind wandered back to the green eyed leader, as it often did these days

Oh no. No. No. No.

Hilda Valentine Goneril was  _ not _ developing a crush on Claude von Reigan

Nu-uh she was not

...Ok maybe

_ NO _ .

Hilda had to sleep, and badly.

And yet all she could think about was his smile, his beautiful gorgeous dreamy eyes as she lost herself while staring at them. His hair as it-

Hilda stop.

She slapped herself as she attempted to fall asleep in her uncomfortable bed roll. This time she would think about

Oh!!

Seteth’s lectures of course

It took Hilda about three minutes to fall asleep. She mentally thanked Seteth

\- - - - - - -

They finally reached it. The Sreng dessert

And to her dismay it looked exactly like a regular dessert. Hot, boring and really hard to walk in

Ughhh perhaps this was more boring than she thought. Welp she was here so might as well help she supposed

“It’s so hot” Hapi complained as they set eyes on the dessert

They were staying in a little inn on a small town not too far away from here. At this point she would take anything better than a tent

“I know, I’m kinda dying here as well” Sylvain commented as he nodded “Just talking feels exhausting”

And he wasn’t wrong

“Hmm, perhaps it’s best if we rest for today and start looking around tomorrow”

Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief. She really didn’t want to start searching, well not ever, but especially not right now

“I think we would all appreciate that” Byleth said as they went back to their inn. She was sharing her room with the professor, Leonie and Ingrid

It was time for dinner but for some weird reason...Hilda didn’t feel hungry. Even she had spent most of today flying she didn’t really feel like eating. The rest of her roommates had already left to eat, naturally. She knew that all three of them were big foodies

So she just stayed in her little bed making a small bracelet. It was actually turning pretty cute

And then she heard a knock

“It’s open”

“Hey Hilda, didn’t expect to not see you down there. You know I actually had to endure Lorenz  _ all _ alone” Claude said as he opened her door and approached. She nodded when he asked if he could sit down with her

“Sorry, I didn’t really have much of an appetite” She gave him a small frown

How sweet of him tho to show up, noone else would probably concern themselves as to why she wouldn’t eat something

Typical Claude, always surprising her in the best of ways

‘Well did you work up the appetite now?” He asked with a small grin. She just stared back

“Well not particularly” she answered “Why? What are you scheming?” she asked back with a dead stare

“Not much, I just brought you some food” he shrugged

Wait? That was it? He just brought her food?

She couldn’t help the blush that was forming on her face

“Well shacks thanks Claude” she smiled “This is why you are my favorite you know”

“Favorite what?”

Shit.

“Friend...i guess”

He just stared

Uh-oh, was that bad? Maybe they didn’t want to be friends?

After some time he answered back, a blush of his own showing up on his cheeks “Yeah I suppose you are my favorite friend too”

Hilda was happy for that, and yet it bothered her a bit. Like it ate her from the inside, and the worst thing? She didn’t know why, and that was….it was frightening

“Well anyway, you should um eat this” Claude pulled her from her thoughts as he suddenly shut up...oddly skittish? I suppose that was one way to describe him “I’ll see you tomorrow Hilds, goodnight”

And he was gone as fast as he had come, what a bummer she wanted to spend more time with him

Oh well, she supposed she could eat these buns he brought her

  
  


\- - - - -

Hilda slept well that night, with her stomach and heart ful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approaching the end! ∩(︶▽︶)∩
> 
> I hope it has been enjoyable so far 
> 
> Next chapter: Team will start looking for the glasses (Finally i know!)


	7. An unexpected encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suprise suprise! What could it be? w(°ｏ°)w
> 
> I'll keep the chapter summary a secret...
> 
> (def not cause I can't write summaries, promise!)

They had been going at it for around an hour

And Hilda has had enough of it for a whole life time

But still they hadn’t found anything. Back at the small city they had told us a specific area that they said focus on but nothing was certain

Hilda looked around, everyone was sweating, put Ignatz had to always keep his glasses from not falling. At first they had worked as teams, but later it was decided that it would be better if they split up

Thankfully it wasn’t too windy today so they could see one another

That did not make it bearable however. She was sweating even more than she would while training!! Can you believe that? Training!

This was unacceptable, completely utterly unacceptable

Those shades better be fucking worth all this trouble

Hilda was too pissed and tired to mentally apologize for her language

“Any luck over here?” Anna asked as she approached her “Nope, this honestly seems like a lost cause” Hilda sighed as she swiped the disgusting sweat off her forehead. Her poor nails would be destroyed too at this rate

“I have an idea so don’t worry, we might find them pretty soon” Anna winked “But first I need to check everyone else to see if they found the goods, keep at it Hilda” she said and the walked towards the nearest person, Raphael

Poor Raphael looked really….unpresentable as his shirt was about to burst open along with all the sweat and just-

Yep. This was definitely worse than training.

\- - - - - -

Two hours had passed….Hilda was really starting to give up, this was not worth it

“Alright, I’m done” she said as she got up and moved towards the professor “Sorry Byleth but this is pointless, plus im not much help anyways”

Byleth sighed “I’m afraid you are right Hilda, the more we try the more pointless it seems” she pressed her lips together “Alright everyone, that’s eno-

“ **WAAAAAAAAAAIT”** Anna screamed as she came running towards them “I-i found something”

literally everyone gasped and screamed the same...long awaited question

“ **DID YOU FIND THEM??”**

“No” everyone face fell “but I found something else!”

“What?” Byleth asked irritably

“This!” Anna said with such a happy and joyful expression that Hilda couldn’t help but smile...even if she had no idea what on earth this thing was

“Um...what exactly is that?” Byleth tilted her head in confusion, Hilda followed

“Why! This modern machine is a prototype, apparently it can detect the material which the glasses are made of!” she smiled proudly as she lifted it into the air “It did cost me quick a lot tho so lets find these babies”

(A few minutes pass)

“Hey it’s making a weird noise” Anna said “Wait! Do you think they are here?” she screamed

“Everyone! Bring your shovels” It better be here or else Hilda would be very pissed

“I-Is that it?” Claude asked as he looked towards something black “By the godess, I think it is!” Byleth said happily as she dug deeper to grab them

Hilda was holding her breath

The professor slowly lifted her arms

And then

“ **GET OUT OF MY DESERT INTRUDERS, I WILL NOT LET YOU HAVE MY TREASURE”**

Uh-oh

Hilda didn’t know giant snake lizard monsters living in the dessert existed

Until now

And they also talked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no what could that monster be?
> 
> Yes, it's that weird lizard from Claude's paralogue
> 
> Shhhh I know it's more important but this is spoiler free so hush |･д･)ﾉ


	8. The Adventure's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I'm sorry I forgot to post this yesterday so it's a day late (シ_ _)シ
> 
> But hey at least it built suspense...haha... 
> 
> *Ahem* Welcome to the last chapter of Gucci™️ Adventure...I wonder how will everything turn out

Well...that was unexpected...and awful...and torturous and just UTTERLY UNFAIR

Hilda, just a powerless and helpless little flower, had to _fight_ against and stupid strong holy god monster snake thing

Honestly she was too tired to pay attention

Even the fight was a haze, even tho it just ended

All of her allies had been sitting around her, panting, sweating, some with a smile some with a huge frown, and some others too tired to even form an expression

“Let’s go back” the professor said after everyone managed to catch their breath “I’m sorry we had to fight that thing, I was not prepared for such an attack”

“Well at least we got a nice sword” Leonie chipped in

“Yes but it was not the trouble, I feel like a might die” Linhardt said as he got up “Linhardt do not joke about such things! I Ferdin-”

“Shut up” Ingrid said as she begun walking towards their small town, her emerald eyes tired but irritated

“Anna do you still have the sunglasses at least?” Hilda asked

“Yeah thankfully I didn’t lose them”

Phew, at least all their trouble wasn’t completely wasted “We will take a look at them after we reach the inn”

It was a quite walk behind, noone was saying anything, too tired from their “little encounter”

Eventually they all finally reached it, some went to their rooms while others went to eat

Hilda did the latter, she sat alongside Claude, Dimitri, Anna and the Professor

“Sooo Anna, can I have a look at them”

Anna was frowning “Actually Hilda you can have them, as long as I get to keep that sword”

Oho

Wait that made her sound like an axe wielding blue haired guy, oh well

“Are you um sure?” She looked towards the professor, she nodded

“Absolutely”

“Well then okay, thank you so so so much!” She was a little too tired to be excited but she still wanted to show her gratitude

“Try putting them on Hilds” Claude prompted her

And that she did

“Woah everything looks so different...And I feel a weird sensation” she paused “As if, as if this Gucci shades are protecting me from words” Maybe she was too exhausted

“Um nevermind that, I think I should probably head to bed early” she said as she removed the shades and finished the rest of her humble meal

“They did look good on you” Claude said with a wink

“Heh, thanks, I’ll give them to you tomorrow to try them out” She winked back as she got up to head towards her room “I’m sorry everyone but I am reaaaally tired” she sighed “I’ll head to bed now”

“Goodnight” they all said in unison

\- - - - - - -

Being in a bed never felt so good

Hilda sighed

She was so exhausted. She was never doing this ever again, for no reason at all

\- - - - - - -

Sleep found her easily that night

Her last thought?

“I’m Grandson of the Grandson of the Grandson of the Elite Riegan” a voice echoed in her mind as it let it lull her to sleep

She smiled. What a dork 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is one of my favorite Claude quotes so I just had mention it
> 
> Well that's that! ＼(＾▽＾)／
> 
> I hope this made you laugh at least once, things are tough these days so I think some well needed attempt at humor was needed...I don't think I'm the most funny person but I gave it a go
> 
> Stay safe out there everyone and thank you for reading. Catch you in my next fic!
> 
> Which hopefully is dimileth ___〆(・∀・)


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